Leadership Lessons from the New First Lady

Since Jan. 20, President Barack Obama has been hard at work doing his part to help the nation get back on its feet. And while the Presidency likely means a dream come true and a lot of hard work for him, for his family it means he’s off the campaign trail (at least for a while!) and back at the dinner table. That’s right. The Obamas have a family life, too! And while you may not be discussing national security and the Secret Service as you pass the mashed potatoes each night, you are still facing many of the same challenges as the other head of the first family, our nation’s new first lady and mom-in-chief, Michelle Obama.

“Michelle Obama is the epitome of today’s professional woman,” says Jamie Woolf, author of Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos (Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, February 2009, ISBN: 978-0-4703813-1-1, $22.95). “As a high-powered lawyer and executive administrator, she has never wavered in her commitment to her family. Just like other moms across the country, she has always worked hard at home to ensure that her daughters’ upbringing never suffers despite having two parents with high-powered careers.”

Here are five lessons in leadership that mothers from all walks of life can learn from the nation’s new mom-in-chief:

Being good at your job can make you a better parent. At the end of a long workday, most of us are eager to leave our professional lives at the office. However, says Woolf, the most effective parents are the ones who don’t. In her career in law and public service, Obama has no doubt perfected many of the same skills she’ll use in her role as mom-in-chief, including conflict resolution, communication, multi-tasking, time management, crisis management, and team building.

Motherhood IS a leadership job. By calling herself “mom-in-chief,” Obama sends a strong message that being a mom means being a leader, an attribute that mothers often overlook in their parenting roles. By celebrating her position rather than apologizing for it, she connects the notion of leadership beyond the walls of corporate suites and presidential mansions to the homes of average parents.

Focus on the big picture. Admittedly, this advice can seem vague and perhaps a little overwhelming. We all know how easy it can be to get caught up in the relentless day-to-day scurry of soccer practice, doctor appointments, and packing lunches and forget about the more meaningful goals that we have set for ourselves as parents. Obama is surely no exception to the motherhood mayhem. With two young children and a puppy to corral, and state dinners and sleepovers to host, the first lady will face relentless demands on her time and patience. The trick for her, and for all of us, says Woolf, is making a point to stop and refocus throughout the day so we don’t lose sight of what’s important.

It’s okay to delegate. Obama has at times been the major breadwinner in her family—she was vice-president of community affairs at the University of Chicago Medical Center before she took a leave to join her husband on the campaign trail—and she knows intimately the juggling act working mothers perform every day. No wonder she plans to use her platform as first lady to advocate for policies such as family leave, childcare access, and better healthcare—the issues that allow women to better balance work and family life. In the meantime, however, we need to call on our own support systems…the other people who live under our roof.

Taking care of you should be a priority, not a luxury. With bills to be paid, dinner to be cooked, and homework to be done, it’s hard to imagine finding another second in the day to get things done—let alone to do something like (gasp!) take a bubble bath. With our endlessly competing priorities, taking care of ourselves is often the first thing to go in our lives as parents. Many mothers say making time for exercise, let alone a manicure, feels indulgent. Obama has made it clear that being an effective mom-in-chief means finding the time to rejuvenate. And when we respect ourselves, we model an important lesson for our children. “Hey, we’re the only ones who can take care of ourselves,” she told Ebony magazine, “and it makes us better lawyers, better mothers.”

About the Author: Jamie Woolf is a regular contributor to Working Mother magazine and founder of The Parent Leader and Pinehurst Consulting, an organization development consulting firm. In her book, Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos, Woolf addresses real-life quandaries and covers everything that career-oriented women need to know to unleash their parenting potential and navigate challenges with skill and grace.